The Onion Daily Dispatch - October 01, 2012

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Mon Oct 01, 2012 www.theonion.com

Mitt Romney Frantically Running Around Ohio Smiling And Waving 10.01.12 CANTON, OH—As part of an effort to cut into President Obama's lead in the crucial swing state of Ohio, Mitt Romney reportedly ran at full speed Monday around the entire state screaming "Hello!" at the top of his lungs while smiling... News in Brief » Netanyahu Feeling Like Trip To US To Start World War III Went Pretty Well American Voices » Poor Diet May Cause Alzheimer's "Permanently forgetting your problems through binge eating? I can't imagine a more desirable process." opinion » You Do, Of Course, Realize That This Is Going To End Very, Very Badly by Alana 'Honey Boo Boo' Thompson By Alana 'Honey Boo Boo' Thompson Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, This is a reminder to yourself to pay the gas bill. — Sincerely, The Onion Most Popular » Mitt Romney Frantically Running Around Ohio Smiling And Waving You Do, Of Course, Realize That This Is Going To End Very, Very Badly Insurance Company Celebrates 50 Billionth Fucking Over Of Customer Tragic Accident Kills Aspiring Living Person George W. Bush Returns To America After Spending 4 Years In The Himalayas Gallup Poll: Rural Whites Prefer Ahmadinejad To Obama

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