BLOODIEST BLACK FRIDAY EVER

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Tue Nov 27, 2012 www.theonion.com

42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record 11.26.12 NEW YORK—According to emergency personnel, early estimates indicate that more than 42 million Americans were killed this past weekend in what is now believed to be the bloodiest Black Friday shopping event in history. First responders reporting from... News in Brief » Detectives Overlooked Casey Anthony's 'I Killed My Daughter' AMA On Reddit American Voices » Abortions In U.S. Fall To Decade Low "Aw, but they solve everything!" opinion » Come On, Just Open The Door And Let Me In This Once by A Raccoon By A Raccoon Radio News » Raccoon Leaders Call For Loosening Of Garbage-Can Lids

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, As a longtime reader of letters to the editor, I decided it was finally time to put my money where my mouth is and write one of my own. So how'd I do? — Nicole Patterson, York, PA Most Popular » Kim Jong-Un Named The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive For 2012 42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record Detectives Overlooked Casey Anthony's 'I Killed My Daughter' AMA On Reddit New Season Of 'Downton Abbey' Jumps Forward To Year 2121 Abortions In U.S. Fall To Decade Low 26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To High School With On Night Before Thanksgiving

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